They ask me why I did it....

Lately I have had people ask me why did you color your hair that way. I have teal, blue and purple in my hair. Simple question? No quite so simple. It wasn't out of rebellion...I am 34 what could I possibly rebel against. During this recent journey that I been on with Jesus he has brought up a stronghold in my life that needed to be killed once and for all. I was a people pleaser driven by fear, not the type where i can't say "no". That word is easy for me. I was driven by what people thought of me, I didn't like confrontation, did whatever I could to make people like me...to the point where I sacrificed being the authentic me. I had realized that it was bleeding into other areas of my life. My fiances  my marriage, the way I parent our children, and my friendships and family. So I worked on this, it wasn't easy or pain free. I had to distance myself from the people who would pull me down and land me back to where I was before. I had to learn when it is okay to speak my mind, on the flip side I had to say what I wanted to say once and not take back what I said. That is hard and requires lots of prayer. For me if I am upset or felt like something needed to said I would pray about it and give myself time before I let my emotions speak for me. I didn't want to clean up a mess of words that could make the situation worse.

The other area is the way I dress. I beat most of this before this new journey. This time I had to stop over thinking  I am not nor do I try to be a trendy person. I shop at thrift shops most of the time and that is okay with me. I have had repeat over and over again that "If people don't like what I am wearing they don't have to look at me." No I will not go out in something hideous just because I don't care. I still need to take care of myself, but what clothes my body isn't what makes me me...I run deeper then that.

Now my hair. As long as I can remember I wanted to have my tips died blue and purple. Made appointments and cancelled. I was so scared that the people I surround myself with wouldn't like me or I would be offending them. So to make peace I stuffed what I wanted and kept the idea in my mind. When I finally broke this stronghold and gave it to the Lord, I don't let fear determine my decisions. So I made a hair appointment and stuck with it and now I have the hair I always wanted. Yes, there are people who don't want to look at me or are disgusted by it....to be honest I don't care. If  they really took the time and made effort to get to know me for me then none of these colors or style should surprise them. I can't take my hair with me to Heaven, so I might as well have fun with it while I can. I am more then what you see.

Acts 17:28 In Him we live, move, and have our being. I am not going to let people's judgmental opinions dictate how I live my life.....I live for Christ period. He loves me for me.....I have dropped these heavy chains!! This song sums it all up for me!!