Goodbye 2011, Welcome 2012

I thought I would do a year in review. 2011 was a hard and challenging year.

January-April were pretty uneventful. It is like the up hill on a roller coaster, you know you have to go down eventually but enjoying the ride as long as it lasts.

May is when life slapped us upside the head. That is when our roller coaster life took its downs. Mother's day weekend we went up to Wenatchee, Washington to see my Grandpa, Grandma, Uncle, Aunt, and our cousin. Also we watched our first Apple Blossom parade. My Grandpa wasn't feeling too good, but that didn't keep me away. We came home and my dad pulled me aside that Sunday and told me that he was diagnosed with Prostate cancer. He told me that he was on the low end of it and that it was slow growing. He later told us that he was just gonna wait it out. The next week on may 17, I went into the emergency room after collapsing on my bed in extreme pain under my ribs. After three hours of tests and being poked and prodded the doctor told us that there was tumors covering my lungs and that I would need to been seen asap. That was at 2am, by 7am after dropping off the kids at my moms Joe and I were meeting with a cancer doctor. She informed me that if this was lung cancer I would already be in stage 4. That just hit like a ton of bricks. We immediately turned to prayer and asked people to pray. I was set up with lots of blood tests, CAT scans, and a biopsy. We found out on May 27th that I do not have lung cancer, I was diagnosed with a severe case Sarcoidosis. It is an auto immune disease that attacks the lungs. I was put on a heavy dose of Prednisone over the summer and got a clean bill of health in September.

June was very exciting and very painful all in a short period of time. After three years of hard work Joe graduated with his degree in Computer Aided Drafting and Manufacturing. I am so proud of him for sticking it out and finishing. I am glad I was well enough to watch him graduate! Two days later my grandpa moved in with Jesus. That hurt me deeply. Loosing him is one things I still struggle with. I love my gramps so much. He was an amazing man!

July was a high point. We traveled to Ohio to watch Joe's sister Melissa get married, and visited with his family. Then the kids and I headed to Georgia for a 10 day to visit our friends the Oberholtzers. I call Jhona my soul sister. Her and I grew closer when I found out about my health. She was willing to drop everything to come and take care of me if need be. We had such a wonderful tome together. I hope and pray her hubby get stationed out west so I can see them more often. I sure miss them.

August we left our church. It became very clear to us that we were having our heads filled. They believed every voice you heard in your head was from Christ. We were fooled into believing things that weren't Biblical. We always felt unattached and now know that the Lord was protecting us. When I got sick Joe and I went on our own personal spiritual journey. I learned who Jesus really is to me, and how he speaks to me. It was tough but a crisis of faith helped build me up stronger. We prayed about it and the Lord lead us to a wonderful church. We feel like we are where we belong. It reminds me of the church I grew up in. My son loves his youth group. It has been so good for us.

September we started our homeschooling adventure with Curtis. It has been so much fun! We have really been enjoying learning the eastern hemisphere. He has grown into such a lovely young man!

November we got serious about buying a house. At the end of the month we decided to get pre approved. We just feel like we need to get out of Molalla and make our dreams come true. We have out grown our current home. Joe is pretty stable at work and we were ready to make the grown up decision to get stability.

December 3 we met our realtor for a showing of a house. We prayed over Joe as the head of household, and asked the Holy Spirit to guide him and if this was the house for us that he let Joe know. When we got done. We all knew this was our home. Joe started packing that next day and took us to Home Depot to pick out paint colors. Joe decided that in January we look at two more houses and then make in offer on the one we looked at the begining of December. Well God had other plans. We got an email from our realtor on Dec 19th telling us that the house we loved and knew was ours was getting a lot of activity and word of making an offer were floating around. After a few hours of back and forth we decided to make and offer. We went under contract and the house is ours. We close the last week of January and move in the begining of February. It was the biggest leap of faith we have ever made. We finally are going to get stability. For the last 15 years Joe and I haven't lived in the same place longer then 4 years. Our new home has only had one other owner who lived there for 58 years. When we walk through the house we finally feel like we are at home. We feel like this house has been waiting for us. It is a peace that is indescribable. I have never seen Joe so excited about something. He is like a kid in a candy store.
After a rough year, ending it with so much joy that is going to spill over for years to come makes going the hard parts not so bad!

I am not sad to see 2011 go, I am so stinking excited about 2012. We will be moving into our forever house. I will be closer to family. A new season is upon us, and glad the last one has passed. Happy New Year. May you be blessed!!

The Two Empty Chairs........

I went up Wenatchee this past weekend with my husband and my kiddos, it was the first time being up there since my grandpa's funeral. The thing that was the hardest for me was seeing Gramp's favorite chairs empty. When I walk in the door to their home Grams and Gramps are usually standing up waiting for hugs and kisses. Grandpa would get a hold of me and say hello dear and give me a kiss on my cheek. This time the chair was empty. Though I embraced my grandma, it felt like something was missing......

My grandpa was such a wonderful person to me. He was one of my favorite people. To sound really silly but honest he was my hero, a source of courage to draw from. My grandpa had a lot of health problems that kept him in constant pain. Some have described him as grump, tough, scary. To me he was and will always be just grandpa. He never was too busy for me.

I have so many many memories with him. I remember one time I was spending the night at their home when I was younger, we ended up in Freddies buying gramps new underwear. I remember them buying my sister Jenny and I our Easter dresses. I remember sitting next to gramps at the thanksgiving table, he would tell his other grandchildren that the seat next to him was reserved for me. I remember that I let gramps meet the boy I was dating in High School, needless to say he wasn't the "one". Gramps let me know, but not in words. In 2004 that same "boy" died in Iraq when a car bomb hit his vehicle.

I remember sitting in his home office with him as he shared many stories and photos of years past. I remember his pig collection. I remember he set up his trains and farm equipment in his office. He had a special place in his heart for me. Now his computer chair is empty......the memories will never be empty, my heart will always be full.

I think the important thing or things to me is what he thought of me and how my life turned out. I was a rebellious one and so desperately wanted a place to fit in and feel loved. No matter what I did Gramps loved me through it all. He told almost every time I saw him how proud he was of me. When Joe became a part of my life my grandpa couldn't have been more proud. He loved my husband like he was his own grandson. He would tell people about his service and how he proudly served in Iraq. I remember meeting quite a few of their friends. They would introduce me, and then when they got to Joe they would remind them that this was the one who served in the Army. My kiddos have very fond memories of him. I am thankful my children had such a wonderful great grandpa. Our daughter Shayla was known for climbing up on grandpa's lap during our visits to Wenatchee. In May he was in too much pain and couldn't hold her. She was looking forward to this October so she could sit on his lap again. When he passed away in June the first thing she said amongst all the tears was, I didn't get to sit on his lap again. This October visit came, and Shayla immediately went to the empty chair and sat. Most of the weekend she was just in the chair...........to some it may be a chair but to my 6 year old little girl it will always be more then that.

In May, when I found out how sick I was, my grandpa called me and left a message telling me how much he loved me. I had this strong urge to save the message, which I did. I told friends and family that I couldn't loose gramps during this time of my life. I needed him and for him to know I was ok. I never got to tell him that. I am sure he knows. I remember calling him a week before he passed to get his advice on the drug Prednisone. He told me many a stories of his dealing with the drug. The last things my grandpa ever said to me speaks volumes to me because of humor and the depth in which he cared for me. He said that prednisone will make me fat but to not to worry cause he will love me anyway. What a wonderful man.....I miss you so much!

When Life is Frustrating What do You do?

This season in life is.....well I don't know if words could even come close to describing it. In a nut shell it is hard to push through. It feels like i am standing in quick sand that is trying to consume me but I know that I have no choice but push through and get out. Only Jesus can do that, and he is. Slowly. I am learning to be strong, but know my Saviours arms are stronger. I am learning to test things, and ask questions; while knowing my Saviour will never leave me or forsake me. I am learning about true friendship and what it really is; knowing that the Holy Spirit is my teacher. I am learning to go through life full of emotions, negative or positive; thankful for forgiveness. I am learning the art of disciplining myself to loose this weight, knowing they only way to succeed is exercise, eating right and lots and lots of prayer. Even though I am in quick sand now, I learning how to get out and never go back in. A passage in the Bible that can sum up all of what is going on is:

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

A Time for Everything

¹ There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

² a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

I have come to appreciate that passage. I have felt all these verses these last few months. God never ever promised life would be easy. He promised that he would overcome the world. Instead of focusing on the negative I think about what the prayer requests he has answered during this tough time. I am thankful for going through cause I am learning so much.

When you walk through it

I have been really examining my life lately. Somethings I really don't understand why I have to go through them.

In October 2010 I walked out of my job. There were many reason for that, but I felt that when the Lord told me to walk out there was something more then the issues hand. I got my answer 7 months later. On May 9, 2011 My dad told me that he was diagnosed with Prostate cancer. Then 10 days later I went into the emergency room because of pain in my side and I couldn't really breathe. After 4 hours of testing they told me that I tumors covering my lungs and I need to get immediate help. I met the most wonderful cancer doctor, Dr. Tiffany. She told me if these were cancerous tumors then I would be in stage 4 of lung cancer. That was a lot to swallow. We prayed for a miracle and alerted all our friends, family, and church to pray for a miracle. She was so encouraging to me. She set me up for all the tests that needed to be done. On Memorial day weekend Dr. Tiffany called and left a message telling me that I don't have lung cancer. She told me that she was so thankful that I would not be her patient any more. She set me up with a lung doctor. I have since found out that I have a serious lung disease call Sarcoidosis. I have severe airway and lung tissue damage. To combat and hopefully heal this they have put me on a huge dose of steroids. Thankfully this Saturday August 12 will be the final day I am on them. Then I go back for testing again to see if Sarcoidois is gone. I know it will be, I have faith. I have seen one miracle of not having cancer, now I am waiting for the other. Restoration of my lungs. Going through all this the past 3 almost 4 months has hit us to our core. Probably the hardest thing we have had to walk through as a family.

It dawned on me that this is the reason the Lord said walk out. I was a school librarian. If I would have had the same attack that that led me to the emergency room, during school hours I would have collapsed with a classroom full of kids, I would not have been able to finish the school year due to testing and not being able to breath well at all. I could not stand for very long periods of time. So as we walk through life and wonder why the Lord is doing what he is doing maybe we just need to sit down and see that there may be a bigger picture that we don't see yet. I am still waiting to see the other half of this picture. Why did we have to go through all this health stuff? I am sure I will be amazed at what the Lord has planned. I am thankful my steps are directed by a higher power. As for my dad, we just got word that his levels are lower then when he was tested in May. He is doing wishful waiting and seeing what the cancer does. I know his miracle of healing is coming!

Our Choice Is..............

.......................to home school Curtis. I know many will be gasping and stereotyping us and Curtis at just the thought of this. I ask that you please stop it.

Joe and I came to this decision through prayer. Curtis has asked us repeatedly to home school him. It has nothing to do with a school. We don't think he will go to hell if he goes to public school, and as for private school, been there done that. We have had a challenging year and rewarding year. Joe and I will not broadcast our family issues as they are personal, but know the decision to home school is the best option for the road ahead of us.

I know many are up in arms about this. To say it plainly, i don't really care what any of your opinions are. He is our son and we know what is best for him. If you knew him as well as we do you would be in agreement. Curtis is a wonderful child and we are truly blessed to have the opportunity to raise him. We don't believe home school is for everyone. Our daughter Shayla will not be home schooled. She doesn't want to be home schooled, she is looking forward to going into first grade and being in the same class as her best friend.

Here is what we are asking from you who know us. Please keep all your opinions and stereotypes to yourself. Please support us with a closed mouth and an open heart. Pray for us, not that we stop homeschooling, but the Lord will get all the glory as He leads us in this exciting adventure. We have heard all your comments and this our response and now the subject is closed, no more talking about. Love to all.

Out and About with the Loy's

You know you worked hard in the garden when your shoes and pants look like this!!!

Curtis mowing the grass Such a beautiful yard! Radishes and beets are planted! Oh yes and Shayla planted lots of marigold seeds!

The worm that Curtis found in the dump pile

Self portrait at it's finest, in a mirror! Joe and Curtis taking a ride

Any horse will do for her!

Posing with Mr. Tom McCall and his fish

This below were taken at A.C.Gilbert house in Salem! Loads of Fun!

Playing dead!

Winterhawks game

My neckless picture

More of the A.C.Gilbert house below. Sorry out of order!

With our crazy life it is nice to be able to slow down and spend some quality time together. I cherish these moments!

Happy Birthday Curtis Loy, Happy Birthday toooooo you!

My little boy is growing up so fast. I am still shocked that I am a mom of an 11 year old. This weekend he we had his family party, and of course when you get us all togther laughter flows freely. Between my dad putting Curtis' helmet on and looking like he has special needs, singing Cherokee people to Shayla, or my brother telling Shayla to have Joe and I punch her in the mouth so her tooth will fall out. It was a fun time. The best though was trying out Curtis' new rip stick. Joe is can go about 30 feet on it. I am looking forward to nicer weather so I can try it. Him and a buddy from school are going to have a party later this month. Happy Birthday Curtis. You bring so much joy and laughter into my life. You are so smart! I am thankful that I have you as my son. I look forward to millions and millions of more memories with you! I love you kiddo!

I am so thankful for the family I have!!!

Ask me why is there a hole in my mouth?

That is the sentence I heard all day yesterday (and this morning) coming out of Shayla's mouth. The answer is that she lost her first tooth. She has been wanting a loose tooth and to loose a tooth for almost 2 years. It finally happened on her big brothers birthday. She pulled it out by hereself. She had to call her grandpa, grandma and then her aunt Katie to tell them the good news. Here she is with a hole in her mouth.

I know this looks like a dentist picture, but she wanted her hole to show toothless smile.

Call Me a Duck

My Faith Demands a Voice

Before I start this blog I need to say one thing. This blog was typed by my fingers, but breathed through my fingers by the Holy Spirit. I can already hear the critics, but I don’t care. I am being obedient to my Heavenly Father. I have nothing to be ashamed about nor am afraid to share what he laid on my heart.

I feel kind of like Dr. Martin Luther King when I say “I have a dream.” I believe his dream for equality was birthed in him by God, just like the dream for my family and our ministry. God birthed a HUGE dream that started out very simple, because that is where my faith was at that time and has exploded into something that in this world is impossible. In 2008 while we were living way out in the boone docs, Joe and I were on the internet looking at house plans and get ideas for when we want to build our dream house. We put in the requirements we were looking for, and nothing set in and looked like home. The Lord said go bigger, we were already looking at 2,500sq ft. We did and that is when we found the perfect home for us. That was that, or so we thought. I didn’t reflect much on it until this year, I knew it was mine but didn’t know what my Lord had in mind. In early 2009 we were faced with the challenge of moving again. We found a house we loved in town and set out to purchase it. I had the faith that it was ours, and then the big NO came from the lenders. I feel like that was a test to see how far my faith could be stretched. I think that was a stepping stone to build off of. I remember balling my eyes out to our realtor and she said something that has stuck with. This is what I heard: “Christina it is ok to move one more time into a rental. God has bigger plans for you and he has something better for you and this is not it.” So I sucked it up and moved again for the 8^th time in 10 years. The Lord showed us where to rent in town. That is when this whole dream exploded. The Lord told me in the spring of that year that our address would on certain road on the right hand side as you are heading to this city, and the first two numbers of your address will be 11. I told Joe and he said “Don’t put God in a box and really pray it out.” I did just that. Then around that same time he told me that we would be in our house when my son was 11. My faith grew a bit more. In 2010 things just exploded like firecrackers. Amongst the joy of hearing what the Lord had planned for us, was a lot of hard work. I had to surrender my whole self to the Lord and get rid of the baggage that was holding me back from going forward in that dream. As I began to hunker down and work on issues He was faithful in giving more glimpses into what He had planned. In the early spring as I was taking two little girls home, on the way back the Lord showed me a property with 39 plus acres and He said “That big.” I said “What am gonna do with 39 acres and a broken husband.” A few months later the Lord healed my husband of incurable nerve damage. Then I passed the property again, and then again weeks later and the song the Lord laid on our hearts at the being of the year came on the radio “That’s What Faith Can Do.” I knew then that was my property. You see all I wanted at the time was a place to build my house, that’s all I believed for. Once again the Lord had more to show me. As my inner healing continued and my relationship with God became more intimate; the next thing revealed was our ministry. We visited another church to go see Dave Roever. He is a disabled Vietnam veteran, and his ministry is to build huge ranches for disabled veterans and help them go to school. He has two ranches in the mid west. The Lord told me in that service that we were to model after him. So on our property we will be making 3-4 bedroom homes for disabled veterans, ones who can take care of themselves. They will need to be approved by the VA to go through their school program. As they go to school they will live on our property rent free. The ministry is bigger then that, you will have to wait and see. Plus we will build the house the Lord showed us when we looking for plans. I know you are probably wondering about the address. I stated earlier that the Lord told me that our address would start with 11. Well, all the times that I was driving by our property the For Sale sign had no flyers in it and the house on the property sits to far back to see the address from the road, plus there is no mailbox out front. I was driving by our property in June of last year and there was a sales flyer, I picked a few up it didn’t dawn on me until I got home and really looked at the flyer an saw the address does indeed start with 11. Glory to God! I know that all of this is going is start this year. God promised and he doesn’t go against his word. We were prophesied over in October and the Lord confirmed verbally to us through the prophets (who we have never met) what He has been telling me in my spirit.

When the clock struck midnight and 2011 began, I felt a nervous excitement bubbling inside of me. This is the year I have been waiting for, for almost 3 years. As Joe, me and our kids had communion on New Years we surrendered this year to the Lord, knowing that this is a year of manifestations. This is a year of great things. I told Joe the other day that I feel like the Lord has been potty training me. I started out in diapers, then as my faith grew I went to training pants, and this year I am putting on big girl panties. How do I know this?

Hebrews 11:1

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen;

it gives assurance about things we cannot see.

Philippians 1:6

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within

you, will continue His work until it is finally finished

on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

Philippians 4:13

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Galatians 1:10

Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people,

but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not

be Christ’s servant.

I don’t know how the Lord is going to come up with the money to make all this happen. He said it, I believe it, that’s it. He also told me this “Christina, no one believes you, but your faith is going to get you what you want!” My father paid me the greatest compliment a few years back. He told me that I have more faith then anyone he knows. I am glad that he knows that about me. I want to be known as a woman of faith, sold out for Christ.

2011 Here I come!

2010 has come and gone, but not without leaving a permanent stamp on me. I learned that to fulfill my mission here on earth and do what the Lord has called me to do started with obedience to Him. It was not a cake walk, much harder then expected. I figured that when you turned over a new leaf and you start to get closer to an obedient life that it wouldn’t hurt to bad. I was so wrong. I will highlight on a few of my issues that need to handled head on.

I had to learn that boundaries are the way to go in all relationships. I know that it sounds cold and heartless, but that is not at all. What I have learned is that the Lord shows you what boundaries to set and when to set them, and most importantly how. I loved that lesson!

Another thing I learned was that I needed to fall in love with myself from the inside out. I needed to get to know the woman that the Lord had created. It was a challenge to be vulnerable and strip myself all of the pain I was feeling. I needed to let all my self worthlessness go and not hide anymore. I realized how many excuses I was making for why I couldn’t do this or that. This was tough one, many tears were shed and I was frustrated. I have an amazing husband who helped me gain confidence in myself, that I have never had before. I love who I am and I don’t have any complaints any more. That has brought freedom and peace in my life that I have never experienced. Victory for Christina!!! Thank you Jesus for being my friend and for sticking by me when I thought I couldn’t hang on any longer. I am so thankful for you.

The HUGE miracle that happened in 2010 actually happened to my husband, but has changed our family. In the spring my husband was completely healed of severe nerve damage (complex regional pain syndrome) in his legs, due to an accident in 2002. The doctors say that C.R.P.S. is incurable, well guess what; I serve a God who does the impossible and makes them possible. We were ready to go forward with getting his right leg amputated. The Lord not only healed his nerve damage, but he healed Joe’s depression; which was really bad at the time. Then the cherry on the top was that the Lord blessed my husband with an awesome job. Joe was almost bound to a wheelchair, and walking with a cane. Now he is working over 50 hours a week on his feet, plus finishing up school. God is good. He looks out for His kids, and blesses them. He answered our prayers. Thank you Lord!

God has a plan for each one of us. I thought you pray about it and then just do what the Lord has called you to do. I was missing the part in the middle. You need to have the “self” work done before you can walk through the doors. I believe that people quit in the middle of the journey because they don’t want to face the things that Lord has brought into the light, the things we thought we have hidden, even from the Lord. I want to tell you a secret, it is so worth it. Every tear, every frustrated moment, every heart ache is all worth it because the end result is beautiful. Jesus got really personal with me. I learned what the Lord meant when He said that He would never leave me or forsake me. 2010 was a year that I felt like God had a check list of things he wanted Christina Loy to go through and conquer. I succeeded, I did it!!!! The check list of 2010 needed to be done now so that as 2011 comes, I can see all the manifestations that have been promised to me through faith. I will see what I have faith in come true in the way that the Lord has them come true, not the way that Christina wants things to come true. In Proverbs 16:9 it says “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” 2011 here I come; I hope you are ready for me!