Here is what REALLY happened!

I felt led to share my testimony. I usually share mine and Joe’s testimony, but it is my turn to tell it all. No I am not airing out my dirty laundry, I am just being honest. Hold on tight, cause those who know me don’t know all that happened. This is the honest account of my early years.

I grew up in a Christian home, my dad was a cabinet maker then a pastor, my mom was a stay at home mom, then a teacher. I wish I could say that was the end of my testimony and that my life was all sunshine and roses from that point on. It was far from that. My story really begins in 1996. I was 17 years old. The summer of 1996 was a changing point in my life. My grandpa John passed away from cancer early in the summer. Then a boy I went to youth group with fell for me and I didn’t get it til he told me while at boot camp. Being 17 and never dated before I decided I liked him too. Well about a year later we broke up. It was a nasty break up and he did everything he could to smear me. It worked. People who I thought were my friends turned their backs on me. That was when the down hill cycle began. That was the summer of 1997. Less then 6 months later in the winter of 1998 I entered into an abusive relationship and that total zapped life out of me. I just didn’t care about myself any more. The boy I was dating was extremely violent and his words were cruel. At that same time I met Joe, who is now my husband. We were friends at the time. I told him what was going on, and he would tell me to get out, but he was dealing with issues himself so I didn’t take what he was saying too seriously. Then in September of that year I decided that I was going to get out. It was the start of a 3 year battle to get the mean boy out of my life forever. Joe and I started long distance dating in September. He was in Ft. Lewis and I was down in Portland. It didn’t last two months because it was my excuse to get out the previous relationship. In December 1998 we went our separate ways and I heard nothing from either Joe or the mean boy so I thought I was “free.” Well that lasted until after Christmas. Joe called me and asked me if I could pick him up from SeaTac airport at the end of the month. At that same time the mean boy was back and he threatened me to kill me (which he would have done without any remorse, he was that nasty.) So I took Joe up on his offer. I had a mental meltdown. I felt so alone and didn’t know how to find my voice so I ran, and I ran as far as I could to get away. At this time I started to really abandon my relationship with Jesus. On either the 29^th or 30^th I took my parents car and I went to pick up Joe at the SeaTac airport, then when we got to Ft. Lewis, my 19 year old brain kicked into full gear and I realized that to me I wasn’t far enough away. So with no money I told Joe to get in the car (cause he could save me from anyone) and I drove up to Canada. I thought if I skipped the country the mean boy couldn’t find me. That was as far as I ran. I was disjointed, hurt, scared, and confused. I really have no memories of what happened. I just knew it was hell. Then I finally decided to go back and at the border, Joe kissed me. From that point on we have been inseparable. And we lived happily every after, just kidding. When I got back to reality and returned to Portland, I was immediately kicked out of my parent’s house. They graciously found me a place to live. After few months of living at my new place the mean boy started calling. He found me again. Joe would come down almost every weekend. I felt safe with him around. Joe talked to the mean boy on the phone and let him have it, and I thought that was the end. In March 1999 Joe and I got engaged, and then in May I moved up near Ft. Lewis to closer to Joe. Well I got pregnant with our son; I had found a job at Old Navy and worked there til it was time for our son to be born. During that time I came home and I was with my friend Annessa, she knew some of my story. I was about 5 months pregnant and the phone rings. I answered it freaked out (mean boy found me) and I gave the phone to her; she went into my bedroom and closed the door. About thirty minuets later (maybe not that long, it seemed like a long time), whatever she said him on the phone I will never know but he has never ever bothered me again. She is the one who truly ended it. I still want to know what was said, but she told she would never tell me. At this point in my life, Jesus and I were not hanging out together. Joe and I got married in January of 2000 and our son was born on March 1^st. We didn’t get married because we loved each other. I was pregnant and we needed a way to pay for the birth. Our vows were “we’ll try” not “I do.” Life went on, struggling along the way. In the winter of 2001 we were shipped to Germany. While we were in our third hotel waiting for housing, something happened between Joe and I and I just hit the end. At that moment I gave up life and handed it back to the Lord. At 22 years old, a mother, in a struggling marriage, and alone in a hotel room I made the best commitment of my life. I ran into the open arms of my Savior. A few years after that I laid my whole past at the feet of Jesus, and I asked Him to forgive every piece of past and I laid the old Christina down as well. Covered it with the blood of Jesus, and walked away not carrying any baggage. From that moment on is what has shaped the rest of my beautiful story. I am trying to live a transparent life. I don’t hide from past, I am not ashamed of it and I have no regrets so why I have never shared it. I think it was cause I was protecting the ones I deeply love and I didn’t want them to see what really went on. If I wasn’t raised in a Christian home with the influences I was surrounded with, would I be here today? Jesus, even if we choose to walk away from the relationship He doesn’t. He was still holding me, and as I went closer and closer to the end of myself, He never ever gave up on me. That is some serious love. Oh by the way, Joe and I are doing AWESOME!! We have a wonderful marriage and two beautiful children, who love their Savior with their whole being. Life is good cause Jesus is in the drivers seat.