My son was bullied by his 5th grade teacher. It was a horrible horrible horrible year. My son refused to talk about it and stuffed all the emotions inside until it all exploded. I saw with my son first hand what bulling does to kids who won't express or talk about what they are going through. After Joe and I found out what exactly what was going on we decided to home school him and try and help him build himself back up. We worked on social and behavior skills. We taught him to find his voice and speak up. Our son tried to go back to school in the 7th grade, but was bullied twice both times physically. One time we had to call the police. That was the straw that broke the camels back as they say. He asked again to be pulled out and home schooled again. Over Christmas break we sat down with our son and asked him one question. "do you want to survive middle school or do you want to succeed?" His answer was "I wanna succeed." So we pulled him out and found an online school so that he could finish 7th grade. This year he is enrolled at a local web academy and loves it. He physically goes to the school at least 2 times a week for classes but does the rest at home and online. He is an independent learner and succeeds more at home. He is thriving and successful. The statement "i wanna succeed" is how he beat bulling. He is part of a local Civil Air Patrol squadron, with dreams of flying in the Air Force. Home schooling isn't for everyone, but for us it is a perfect fit!
Our daughter was bullied for over 2 years. It started in 1st grade and ended about a month ago. This little girl that targets our daughter comes from a lifestyle we cannot relate to. This girl and my daughter have been in the same class both years. At the beginning we taught our daughter what it means to be a friend, and encouraged her to show this girl the same things. That only worked for about 5 min. All through last school year we encouraged her to be kind and remember that hurt people hurt people. We taught her how to change her perspective and look at the bigger picture and continue to work with her to a be a good friend. Then toward the end of the school year the bulling got worse. I was told about this song:
My kiddos love music, and that love has lead to helping them deal with hard issues. This song gave my daughter a boost to stick up for herself. We eventually has to meet with the principle last spring cause the bulling wouldn't let up. That helped til then end of last school year. Then in September of this year it started up all over again. Even though the principle separated the two girls, hoping things would cool down, we found out quickly that recess was still a big issue. I encouraged our daughter to remember what we taught her and that she needs to be brave. She tried and tried and it wasn't letting up. Then she heard this song by Katy Perry and the dam finally broke open.
We had to teach our little girl to roar. Not roar to insult or bring this other girl down, but roar to make it known that this bulling of herself and her friends needs to end. I told her if she was gonna roar she needed to not hurt this girl. No revenge. So I gave an example of what could be said. I told her that lots of kids want to say this but most are way too scared. If she does this she will sticking up for her friends and herself. What was going on was not ok. I told her she would be the cool kid if she actually mustered up everything she has been taught and opened her month, plus we told her when she felt like it was time to roar we would take her to get a cupcake at her favorite bakery. The day came and she let it all out, and guess what it worked. That little girl doesn't mess with our daughter anymore. It took almost three years, but the lessons my daughter learned along the way will stick with her. She is more confident in herself. We refused to let this other girl win. School is more enjoyable for our daughter.
Part of me wishes that neither one of our kiddos got bullied, but it happened. I am thankful that we were able to teach them the skills they need when dealing with difficult people. The common thread for both of them is that they want to succeed. That looks different to both of them cause there personalities are so different. We aren't a family who quits or rolls over and lets life take it's toll. I am so proud of our kiddos. If you are or someone you know if bullied I hope you find your voice!!
